It’s early. I’ve been up since 5 am, as I am most mornings and unable to fall back asleep.  Most mornings at this time I lie quietly in bed, hoping to drift back to sleep. I don’t and so instead my mind races, I spend time in prayer and I wait for the familiar and predictable 6:15 wake up call of our 4 year old, who paddles into our room with his favourite stuffed animals in hand and greets me with a bleary eyed “Good Morning Sunshine!” This morning could have (and should have) been a sleep in since he’s away on an overnight but I heard the Gentle Voice, the voice I know so well, calling out “Good Morning Sunshine”. And so my day begins, as it should, resting in the arms of the One who knows me and loves me. The One who listens to me and speaks to me.

Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

This yoke that Jesus speaks of is not a “one size fits all” design, but one made specifically for me. One that fits me. One that prepares me, enables me and equips me. It is easy and light, not burdensome or heavy. This does not mean that doing what God calls and asks us to do will be easy, without challenge or even perhaps without difficulty or question, but that He prepares us, walks along beside us and equips us for what will come. That is good news!

Health Update: I am just coming up on 14.5 months post bone marrow transplant. The doctors continue to be pleased with my progress and monitor me closely.  I am usually down at Princess Margaret Hospital once a week but we are starting to stretch out those visits to 2-3 weeks. The doctors are also monitoring my medications, reducing and increasing doses as necessary.  My biggest health battle is with graft vs host, the ongoing battle of the new bone marrow and my old bone marrow. For me, this has been mostly in the form of mouth sores.  When these sores flare up at their worst, it is difficult to eat and is painful, but at other times the sores are just uncomfortable.

Perspective: I am learning the importance of perspective when it comes to these sores and other frustrations regarding my healing process. These sores in my mouth, weekly trips to the hospital, daily medications and the side effects that come along with it all are small and light compared to the battles that some of my bmt friends are going through.  I am constantly thankful to God (and my healthcare team) for the healing that has happened and continues to happen.  I have listened to stories in the waiting room of other transplant patients who have spent extended time in hospital, who have had difficult recoveries and I know of others who have lost the fight. I am full of thanksgiving to God and must daily fight the “woe is me” or “this is too hard” or “enough is enough” and turn my heart, thoughts and actions back to the One who knows me best, who whispers truths about who I am and who I am becoming.

H.

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