I’ve been thinking about how much harder it has been to hear God’s voice since I’ve been back home.  At first I couldn’t really figure it out until I realized that in hospital isolation, God had my full attention.  But here at home there are a lot of distractions.  Now some of those distractions are good and some of the distractions are just that, distractions.  Listening to what God has to say requires me to set time aside to listen, to put down or put off the things that I am doing or wanting to accomplish (think: put down the knitting Heather…) and decide to read the Bible, a book, sit quietly in prayer or listen to a message.

It was a few weeks ago that I began to think about this, you know, why was God’s voice so hard to hear.  I sat down on a Sunday morning when Jeff and Nathan were at church to listen to a television church service.  I tuned in to hear Charles Stanley preach.  He was part way through his message and the topic was Obedience.  I had to giggle a little bit at God’s sense of humour towards me because if you followed along with these posts when I was in hospital, obedience was one of the central issues that God spoke to me about.  The message caused me to reflect on my time in hospital, the things that I had learned and what new steps of obedience God was calling me to.

The other day I had a neat experience with Nathan.  He was having his nap and I was knitting and the tv was chattering mindlessly in the background.  I  decided to put down the knitting, turn off the tv and start a new book that lying on the dresser.  I knew that if I didn’t stop what I was doing to spend time in prayer and reading that soon Nathan would be awake and I would have missed my opportunity.  The first few pages talked about looking for God, listening to God  how God is always with us.  Just then Nathan stumbled out of his room and came running towards me.  He asked me what I was reading.  Here is the conversation that I would have missed if I hadn’t listened to God’s prompting and put my things away to spend time reflecting on Him.

Nathan: What are your reading?

Me: I was just learning that God is always with us.

Nathan: He IS? (clapping) YAY!

Me: I was just going to pray and thank God for always being with us.

Nathan: No Mommy, I want to do it. (folds hands and closes his eyes) Dear God, thank you for always being with us. Amen.

Isn’t that so beautiful?

Update: Since my last update my twice weekly appointments to the hospital have been changed to weekly appointments.  I am scheduled to go down to PMH every Friday and this works well for our family as Jeff is able to come down with me and Nathan can go to The Magic Castle.

Also, I have reached my second date milestone: Day +60 was earlier this week and so I am expecting a bone marrow biopsy tomorrow when I go to my appointment.  My nurse encouraged me by telling me that it’s not a full out bone marrow test since they just use a small needle.  I’m not sure that it really matters what size needle they use but the reality is the test will give them a peek into what my body is doing at the marrow/cell level and how well the transplant is taking.  So far the team is happy with my blood count results and I am eager to see what is going on at a deeper level… even if it means they have to drill into my bone to get the results.

I’m still not sleeping very soundly and wake up a number of times throughout the night.  This could be the result of some of the medication that I am on and so as they begin to wean me off some of my medications I am hoping to to get a better night’s sleep.  I am reminded though that sleepless nights are common among my peer group of moms who are up with newborns or kids who are up through the night.  Talking with other Mom’s, I am reminded that I am in good company in the “sleepless night’s” category.

As always, thank you for your prayers for me and my family.  We are humbled by your ongoing love and support for us. We love you!

With thanksgiving and joy, H.

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