I’m writing this in the early AM hours of the night.  I’ve struggled with night time sleep in here and it’s a tough time to be awake.  The sleeping pills that I’ve tried haven’t worked for me but I spoke with the nurse tonight about a solution for tomorrow.  Also, waking every hour to use the washroom b/c of my high volume of saline and other meds doesn’t help me stay asleep.  I’m like clockwork.  (TMI? Sorry)

***This coming weekend Jeff was scheduled to be away in Vancouver for a National Youth Workers Convention.  It is an annual convention, usually alternating between Vancouver and Toronto.  Jeff was to help out coordinating volunteers and was to give a seminar during one of the elective sessions.  He has also worked behind the scenes (tirelessly and with joy) on the social medial side of the conference.

Jeff and I had agreed back in the summer that unless there was a good reason for him to be here in TO that it would be fine for him to attend the conference.  We still agreed on that last week.  Then, even though there is good prognosis for me this weekend, I felt a prompting to ask Jeff to stay home this weekend.  We always knew it would be a possibility, but believed that going to the conference would be beneficial for him.

Earlier this week I asked Jeff if he would reconsider.  Not because of any sense of alarm here on 14C but just because I wanted him close by.  He thought about it, we wrestled with it by phone and by facebook and in the end, he agreed to stay.  It was a difficult decision, and, truthfully, disappointing for us both that he would remain home.

I believe that God was using this as an opportunity for obedience in both our lives, my asking and his responding.

This morning when my doctor came in he told me that in all likelihood I will be granted a weekend pass to go home and have a trial run, that my counts are arriving at levels that would allow me to be at home to see how I will do.

Even in the midst of Jeff’s sacrifice, God has jumped in with “more than we could ask or imagine” (Ephesians 4).  We are eager to be together as a family.

I know that this blessing and joy is as a result of our obedience.  This has been the pattern of the last year of our lives.

Obedience First.