Hi All,

I’ve been silent this week. It’s not that I haven’t tried to sit down and write, but at the end of the day, I’m wiped. Well, let’s face it, at the beginning of the day I’m wiped too. Take yesterday for example, I got up in the morning, got showered and ready for the day and went back to sleep for an hour. No joke. I’m tired. Deep, no energy tired.

And it’s not for lack of sleep. We’ve all been sleeping pretty well here this last week. We’ve made some headway in regards to Nathan’s sleep schedule. We realized that tucking him in and then heading down two flights of stairs was just too much for him. Now we tell him that we will be in our room across the hall, reading, praying, folding laundry… whatever, and he goes down without much fuss. And, he’s staying in bed pretty well until 6:30 or 7:00.  Happy toddler = Happy parents.

I just heard back from my doctor today (In case I haven’t said it before, my doctor rocks! Really, to call on a Sunday afternoon… just to see how I was doing. Awesome… more about him another day.) The cultures from the bronchoscopy came back negative and that’s good. I’m to keep taking the prescribed medication until they run out and then I have a scheduled appointment with the doctor the following week. I also have a scheduled appointment this week for IVIG, a monthly treatment that boosts my immune system.

In general, I’m feeling better than I was. I even baked Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins yesterday and really, once I’m back to cooking and baking, things I LOVE to do, we know that I’m on the up side of being sick. That said, I’m still short of breath and try to limit how many flights of stairs I need to climb and try to maximize my trips up and down. I’m also really tired. I tried to listen to a message on healing yesterday. I got through half of it then woke up to hear the pastor say “amen”. Trouble is, I had tried to listen to this message before and fell asleep too. Either this message isn’t meant for me or it’s really got some good stuff and I should listen to it when I’m more awake. I’ll give it one more try this week!

Neat things this week: Last week I wrote about my disappointment with my own expectations regarding Valentine’s, Jeff’s Birthday and Family Day. This past Sunday, God redeemed some of that time. We had already decided not to go to church (a good decision!) so we woke up, had a leisurely breakfast of waffles, strawberries and bacon. We spent the time with family in the afternoon, my dad included, and came home for a restful evening. I even made some Chocolate Covered Strawberries as a surprise treat for my boys at the end of the day. And I know that this is just a small thing, but I know that God was redeeming that time, those expectations and those family memories for me. I enjoyed every minute of it, reveling in the love and laughter of my family.

We’ve been thinking about the differences between this month and last in regards to chemo. The biggest difference by far was that I got an infection. In many ways, the chemo isn’t the danger, it’s the low immune system that it leaves me with making me a target for all kinds of infections. Once, years ago, when I was anxious about a treatment option my doctor was suggesting, he put everything in perspective by saying this: “Chemo is not the enemy. Chemo may give you symptoms that are unpleasant, ugly and unbearable, but chemo is not the enemy. Cancer is the enemy and the chemo treatment, however toxic, is there to kill the enemy.” It gave me something to think about and I am reminded of my doctors words each time I’m feeling tired, crummy, ugly and unbearable.

This is it for tonight. I am reminded that the further away I get from my last chemo treatment, the better I feel. I also remember that I am that much closer to my next treatment and the cycle will begin again.

Your prayers are valuable. We know you are praying. God is answering, in big ways.

H.

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